Wednesday 8 August 2007

Things are looking up. Silole bati shuwale

The Viking left – miss his company lots. I just wanted to say that. I meant that he left and found somewhere else to live. I consider this a good thing.

I started the week on a mission to re-evaluate my life, my friends, family, work, sexual partners etc. I tell a lie, this started towards the end of last week. And all the events that were going on around me had not helped the situation. Imagine coming home to a house only to find smashed glass, plates, cups and sand. What kind of anger, venom and rage would make a person behave in that way? To me the whole event seems like a bloody waste of fucking time and money. Because Susan’s had to go out and buy paint for the graffiti and also replace all the cups and other things and clean up the house. I honestly think she’s a twat that needs to seek help. No wonder she’s not allowed to see her grand children – I mean what if she got into a fit of rage and chucked one of the poor little bastards (I can call them that – they were born out of wedlock) out of the window. Enough of that now I’m getting bored of talking about the whole issue over and over again.

And now a short note on friendship,…
How can we find true friendship in this often phoney, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion. How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth. Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away. True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offence. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

Fuck all you backstabbing idiots. You know who you are!! Nuff said!! This isn’t aimed at you guys that read this by the way. I wrote it here because I have no intention of sharing my thoughts with tossers. In Susan’s words I would not give them the privilege. On a better note, Gigi (I hope you like the knick knacks), Alpha and Michael have been really supportive. I’m sure they have they’re own issues to deal with but they were burdened by mine.

Now family,…

Bless mum and cousins for coming round on Sunday. The day went surprisingly well considering Susan was home. I kind of got miserable and I had a cry (big cry). Too many things were going on in my head and her being there made them all want to come out. I often get upset because there are aspects of my life I’d like her to know but I can’t. She’s of another generation and I’m sure she’d never understand. I bust out into tears and she told me to go home with her. She could tell I needed to get out of that house but I couldn’t tell her. When’s mother’s day the way. I bought her a really nice watch a couple of years ago and some twit in Uganda knicked it – the swine.

There’s also the work thing. I had a Kelly moment as well – thinking about switching jobs etc. I always asked myself how I ended up working in IT. It’s so not me. I mean I don’t go around prodding computers or playing with software. I’m a project manager this means I have to wait around for people to do things and make sure they’re delivered to time and budget. Yawn! That’s not my personality; I sometimes have no patience, I like things to keep moving not walking. We’ll what the future holds.

I’m definitely moving out of that hell hole next month. Something to look forward to in the short run.

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