Finally the dust settles.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately reading other people’s blogs. Some have serious debates on politics, religion, development, sexuality et al. I don’t particularly have an interest in politics or religion, sexuality to me is something people do in their own privacy – I don’t think there’s a need for people to dedicate so much time discussing what is normal or not(culturally or religiously). I personally feel there are more important issues in the world that they could spend their time on. I suddenly thought; this is my blog I’ll write whatever I please. It’s about my life so, sod politics, religion, sexuality, sport et al.

I’ve been so random lately. In fact this is going to be a random entry. I will attempt to make things flow because it has been a while since I made an entry. I get the feeling this is going to be like one of Kelly’s essay entries. The past couple of weeks have been filled with rage, fun, frolics and some partying. I haven’t really partied like I normally do; I think I’m getting Fire withdrawal symptoms. It’s been bloody ages since I last went to my favourite hang out. I’ve also moved house; I’m currently lodging at my mum’s in Stanmore. She’s starting to drive me up the wall. She’s basically doing what mothers do – smothering me. I woke up last Sunday to an open Bible. She TOLD me to read Psalm 139. She still tells me I need prayers and my soul needs cleansing. I tell you if she knew what I’ve been up to she’d probably recommend that my soul be taken to the dry cleaners (those nasty stains on my soul need to be removed). I have to say I love and adore my mum mother but she pisses me off by shoving religion down my neck. I’ll go to bloody church when I want to go not just when someone feels I need to go to church.

I finally moved out of the hell hole. It just got really unbearable having to live with unbalanced person. I have to give myself credit for being that resilient. I cannot see or imagine anyone being able to cope with that woman. For example the Viking only lasted a couple of weeks. When Susan had that spell of madness, the dithering fool rang his mother at 3.00am (4.00am Swedish time). When things like that happen I think it is important to remain rational and try to think clearly and strategically. First of all there was no way I would have been able to move anywhere at that time, secondly I couldn’t have rang my mother because there was nothing that she could have been able to do at that time and thirdly what was done was done. The only option was to confront Susan in the morning when she woke up. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Susan coming into my room to start an argument with me on Monday 03/09/07. In fact this whole thing had started the on the Monday the previous week. Susan’s ex flat mate was coming over for lunch. We were all in a good mood so I rang him to find out what time he would be coming. At this point I was helping Susan cook for him and his bf. I left for Carnival. Then when I got back she started shouting asking me why I’d rang Craig adding that I shouldn’t ring her friends because they’re her friends. This was all in front of Craig and his bf. I flipped and gave her my piece of mind. I really abused her. I was nasty and evil and told her everything nasty about her and ended up telling her to go suffocate her self if she was that pissed off about me ringing her friend. Thinking of it now makes me realise how childish the woman really is. I mean which adult goes around telling people not to ring her friends? Is this some playground game with 6 and 7 years olds or something? It’s not like I didn’t know Craig. We’ve met on a number of occasions and gotten on really well. Anyway, back to Monday the 3rd. she comes bursting into my room. I was only wearing underwear she started and wanted to carry on the argument. I flipped again told her to get out of my room. She refused. I got out of my bed; physically grabbed her by her neck and hair threw her out of my room. I told her to call the police if wanted. Then I told her I was moving out on Friday the 7th and that she should keep out of my way. End of!

Prior to this fiasco, I met Susan O my cousin. I hadn’t seen her since December last year. We had a great day out actually. I was on balance though. This bank holiday weekend never seemed to end. I got fed up of drinking I stopped. Susan always has random people around her for some reason. But she left early and took Baba some food. The plan was that we’d all go home change then go out again but that didn’t happen. In fact we were supposed to go to this new hip club called Aura – it’s supposed to be Fabulous. Haven’t been yet; seems too clean and showy for me. I like my grimy, dirty and seedy clubs.

On another note, the Viking went back to Sweden. He said he needed to recuperate (recuperate my ass!) after the heart break (boo hoo!). He was still going to work crying just before he left. He once told me that he was at work, started thinking about his ex and tears started streaming down his face. Luckily his client was lying face down (the Viking is a masseuse as well). So off he went back to Gothenburg, not sure what his work said about him taking time off but that’s his problem. What makes me laugh is that he claims to have come to London to improve his English and get a career in the City of London (the ‘City’ is London’s version of Wall Street). Who does he think he’s fooling? Did he think I was born when it last rained or what? Everyone knows he moved here to be with that no good; toe rug ex boy friend of his who also treated him like rag that even a dog wouldn’t shit on. I hope he’s learned his lesson. Next time he’ll think twice before leaving his country to be with some fucked up dude. Yeap; he really was fucked up in all senses. The only thing his ex had going for him was the looks. I’m such a BITCH. Must come from wearing a queen’s crown. Ha!

Everyone must have heard this line somewhere before – it doesn’t rain, it pours. That’s what I’m going through right now and I’m confused. That’s all I need right now. I hate being lust with one person not to mention three. Oh bugger bugger bugger!! Leave it at that Martin. Anyway at least I’m enjoying nice Bolingo (sex). I have to say one of the people is not quite up to scratch on the subject. To me bolingo is like playing chess, some people are wonderful whilst some people are absolutely crap. Such a shame, this person is really nice and makes me laugh and does all those cute little things that dream of. Anyway we shall see.

I hate birthdays. They always seem to be more hype than should be. I only ever seem to remember one fantastic birthday and I think that was my 23. I went out for a meal with a load of my friends and we really enjoyed ourselves. The restaurant is a fusion of Malay and Indonesian called Lontosa in Harrow. It wasn’t a great big piss up or anything like that. But it felt good having all my friends around. My friends at the time made it even more extra special because almost all of them brought me presents. This year’s birthday was a bit shit (bloody tight fisted friends!). This is possibly because I started drinking too early. I got carried away with the moment. - I must keep reminding myself not to do this. Otherwise I’ll end up like those Ugandans on ‘balance’. They have to have a beer or something stronger to maintain their balance. I don’t necessarily call them alcoholics; they just drink too much but are not dependant on alcohol. I seem to remember having this argument with my deranged, alcoholic ex-flat mate. Now she started drinking sometimes everyday at 6.00am that’s what I call being dependent on alcohol. This carried on all day. Her excuse was that she hated water and juice (yeah right! I know some people that hate water or juice but have either and do not replace either with alcohol.) Anyway, back to my birthday. Jacqui and Alpha were around and off we went into Soho for Pride. I tell you there was one somewhere in London every weekend in August. I went to about 3 of them. One (London Pride) is more about matching for gay rights (that’s the one I went to when it poured; this is all a bit worthy), Brighton pride (big family day out on the beach) and Soho pride which is one great big party. It has also always been my favourite. There are no sprogs in site just adults out to really enjoy themselves. I took some pictures but I think some might find them a little risqué. Besides I got a little too naughty and what made it worse was the fact that I was right in front of Jacqui my cousin. She took the piss out of me but I did NOT give a shit. I delved into an afternoon of pure adulterated LUST. Did you notice the capitals? Good, I hope so. That was the one thing that made my birthday. Yeah, a lovely birthday filled with tongue frolicking, wrestling etc. Nothing else happened that afternoon. I saved that for the Thursday that followed. The best part is that we’re still in touch. Shame this person lives so far. Enough of that – I sense some of you might be getting jealous. I know for a fact that both passion and lust haven’t rained in your lives for bloody ages. Ha!