I’m sure whether it is just me, but, each time the sun’s out I’m always in a good mood and my spirit feels lifted. The sun was out this weekend and it still is. I hadn’t planned on going out on Friday so I didn’t. I had a really sober relaxing Friday, I watched some telly, had a really long bath (must have been in the bath for nearly two hours). I don’t want to think about how much water I wasted. I got out of the bath, watched Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Ding, and followed by a really nice Spanish film called Bear Cub. I really love world cinema, I can’t even begin to name the number of films I have seen. But Bear Cub is worth seeing. The only thing is that the sex scenes were a bit full on but they are justified by the fact that there aren’t that many and the comical one-liners throughout the film. I actually really liked it.
I got up quite early on Saturday. I did the usual house work i.e. cleaning every nuke and cranny in the flat. I made myself a really nice breakfast then did some laundry. I faffed around the house, felt like I was doing something but come the end of there were no results to show for it. I got a call from Alpha; he was inviting me to his for lunch. Alpha (much as I love him) is so long winded it amazes me. He wanted to go out for lunch but the same time he wanted to go ice skating in Canary Wharf with his cousins. This of course would have meant meeting at around 5 for lunch. I told him to skip the lunch but we could make arrangements for dinner. We agreed to meet at five. It came as no surprise to me when he turned up late again – 1 hour to be precise. I was miffed and the cold wasn’t helping the situation either. Yes I could have gone into a bar and waited for him but I’m one of those people that feel really uncomfortable sitting alone in a bar. More power to those that can because I have never had the courage. Anyway he turned up in the end, I moaned at him but I didn’t really make a big issue about his lateness – I know exactly when to get him back. We decided to pop into Rupert St for a few since we hadn’t been all year. We got in and started to look for somewhere to sit – I’m one of those people that have to sit when drinking. Suddenly I heard someone call my name. I turned around and guess who? Bloody Silas!! He is the last person I expected or wanted to bump into. It’s been six months since we had any contact and I’d rather it remain that way. Anyway, since I’m very polite I decided to be civil towards him. He was keen on us joining him and his new ‘friends’ from Qatar. Silas is the same person. He told me he’d been out partying 3 days in a row and hadn’t been home – such a caner. We hang out and it was quite pleasant and his new friends were quite fun. We decided that we’d go to Fire but somehow ended up going to heaven. I have never really enjoyed Heaven so this night was no different. I had a bit of dance with Alpha the other guys disappeared off for about 30 mins. Alpha also disappeared off to the toilet so I was left all alone but I told to me to meet me at the bench when he was done.
Off Alpha went, I went to get some water then went and sat down. There I was minding my own business when this lovely person came and sat next to me – a Geordie to be exact, same height and build. He started talking to me, I talked back as one does and we chatted for ages. We had a dance together during which Alpha came and joined us. I have to say he is the most touchy feely person I’ve come across in bloody ages – not that I’m complaining. I think I was enjoying it too much i.e. him having his arms around me, holding hands and sneaky snogs here and there. We exchanged phone numbers and we’re supposed to meet and go out on a proper date. There’s just a little problem; I’ve just started seeing RB – who I also really like. RB is wonderful, we get on really well, things are alright, our friends get on really well and we’re good friends – something I consider really important. All of a sudden a stranger comes along and messes up my head. Why oh why? I feel like shit for doing what I did but at the same time it felt like the most natural thing to do. I’m confused but I won’t make any rushed decisions because of this. I’ve decided to have my cake and eat it. I haven’t had any cake in a while anyway. I’ve been in this place twice before, whatever happens I’ll try and follow my heart. I’m doing things properly this time regardless of the fact that there is more than one person involved. I have to look out for my best interests – I think that’s the way to look at it.
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