Two Stories

Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree

Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight. She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said. "I'm the one with the nuts," he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly, he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Allsorts!!!


The Midget

Every day, a male co-worker walked up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhaled a big breath of air and told her that her hair smelt nice. After a week of this, she couldn’t stand it anymore, took her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and stated that she wanted to write a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor was puzzled by this decision and asked, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replied, "it’s Keith, the midget."